Rant #3: The Pokemon Go Rant

Hello everyone! Tommy here.

In advance, I apologize for being a bit…eh…shouty in this post. I don’t know, it’s just a very irritating topic. So yeah. You’ve been warned and whatever.

So, let’s jump straight into this debacle. I have one simple question for you all:

WHY DOES EVERYBODY HATE POKEMON GO?!

It’s an app. A bloody app. People all over the place are screaming and crying about it like it’s some form of televised murder. Like it’s, I don’t know, impeding your statutory rights that have been granted to you under the 50-somethingeth amendment.  Like, honestly. If people go about on their phone, that’s fine by me. They already do that don’t they?
(and yes, this is a rant about the haters of Pokemon Go, not so much the app. Deal with it boiiii)

Okay, maybe your argument is this:
“Oh, but it’s dangerous and distracting.”

That slightly reminds me of a game called Postal, actually: in the game, you could do some crazy crap. Like shooting up randoms, or… using a cat as a silencer for your firearm… yeah, it’s weird. But anyway, people kicked a fuss up about it, crying and throwing tantrums about how bad the game was because the goal was to do bad things. But in actuality, the game was only as twisted as you made it. Almost every single mission could be completed by being a law-abiding citizen.

So yeah, that’s the way I see it:
It’s only as “dangerous” and “distracting” as you make it. Does a game about catching small, cute widdle animals make you drive while staring at your phone? No. Does it tell you to walk under a bus or cross the road without looking both ways? No. Does it in any way promote dangerous or illegal behavior? Hell no. In fact, there are numerous warning messages throughout the game that tell you to be freaking careful.

“How do you explain all t-th-the injuries and deaths and world wars this devious little devil has deployed?”

SIMPLE: HUMAN STUPIDITY. Okay, that’s a bit harsh, but, I think, true. Honestly, when is it ever a good idea to drive a motor vehicle while staring at your phone, whatever app is turned on? When is it safe to cross the road without looking in both directions first? WHEN IS IT OKAY TO GO KNOCKING ON RANDOM PEOPLE’S DOORS, ASKING IF YOU CAN GO INTO THEIR BLOODY BACKYARDS AND COLLECT BLOODY CHARMANDER?! Never. And that is supposed to be common knowledge, something everybody – child or adult – should know. No excuses; those things aren’t safe.

It’s like alcohol: the object itself isn’t bad; but people tend to be really really dumb with it.

Another interesting fact is that a whole load of the haters of Pokemon Go don’t even know what the game is, nor how you play it. So, to clear up a crazy misconception that people have about this game: I DOESN’T IMPEDE YOUR VISION. Sure, there’s elements of Augmented Reality in the game where it uses your camera to make it appear that there’s a Pokemon on the pavement or whatever. But that doesn’t even fully impede your vision; it is seen through your camera. It’s not like you have a Virtual Reality headset on, and every time there’s a Pokemon nearby your entire vision is blurred, and you’re transported to some mythical world.  It’s not like your phone is something that people need to use to see through, like a pair of digital glasses.

Who knows, maybe people hate this so much because so many people love it? Maybe they’re so ragingly hateful of this because of how it’s all the rage at the moment? That sounds a lot more probable than everybody all of a sudden being worried over the safety of everybody else?
“I hate Pokemon Go because it’s popular to hate it.” sounds a lot more probable than “I hate Pokemon Go because it is a health hazard.” And it also sounds a lot more childish.

So, before you go hating something that everyone around you hates: actually do some research for yourself. If you must, find a reason to hate. A proper one. Don’t just go by what everyone else says; think for yourself without being a bloody sheep.
Maaaaaaaaaaaaah.

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WHEW, you SURVIVED. CONGRATULATIONS. So yah, that felt good… probably not for you, though. You’re probably sprawled out on your desk chair, clutching your eyeballs which are spasming wildly. Oh well, I did warn you… I think…

Anyway dudes, thanks a lot for reading. Do you have an opinion that you think is necessary to share about this topic? Do you think that I’m really really“wrong” and “unjustified” and that it’s more than likely that I’m possessed by the devil himself?? Go ahead and tell me in the comments below.

I’ll see all you dudes in the next post!  😀

From Thomas “The Mad Writer” McKenna.